(with apologies to anyone who actually can code)
function toViewOrNotToView (seeFilmInTheatre) {
int fanboi = 0;
int literalism = 1;
int alteredState = 0;
int mentalAcuity = 1;
//note, we can’t let mentalAcuity dip below 1 to operate machinery safely
if (fanboi == 1 && alteredState ==1) {
return 1;
fanboi–;
mentalAcuity–;
}
elseif (fanboi ==0 && alteredState == 1) {
return 1;
alteredstate = 0;
mentalAcuity–;
}
elseif (fanboi == 0 [...]

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