Ah, West Michigan

From the ever entertaining Sploid comes the woeful tale of East Grand Rapids kids gone bad. Or normal, depending on your perspective.

Sploid: ‘Our kids drink? Do something!’

A hilariously appropraite title considering East GR is full of a) rich people, b) drugs, and c) rich people who do drugs. I can’t tell you the number of East GR kids that hang out at the club du jour doing coke, speed, meth, or weed. You know, kind of like everyone else in the world.

The fact that the uppity parents in this enclave are so clueless as to think that giving their kids hundreds of dollars a week in “allowance” would automatically teach those kids responsbile ways to spend that money is so American, it hardly deserves mentioning. Yet, here we are, reading about it in many papers across the state. Why, I’m surprised these kids even have time to drink, what with all the committments to charity work and family time.

Kudos to the parents for outing their kids to the school, though. Nothing teaches kids discipline and respect for authority figures like having your parents make someone else punish you. Ah, the offspring of upper management; what hope we have for the future.

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