Warning: This post contains petty whining, references to winter, and cathartic material. I am not depressed, I just play it on the Internet.

Fall must be on the way; I’m feeling the demotivating doldrums coming on. J– and I talked about this last night about how, in the middle of the day, I felt as if anywhere but where I was would be better. Not the “I want to quit my job and join the Peace Corps” kind of anywhere, just the “not my butt in that seat yet again” kind. Maybe it’s a leftover from a disastrous Labor Day vacation attempt (which I now realize I didn’t blog). Maybe it’s the realization that I just helped justify my team (most of which hasn’t even been hired yet) into $5 million. And, oh yeah, we have to build a complete ERP system in two years.

Maybe it’s the onset of fall and the realization that snow is right around the corner. I actually don’t mind the snow, just the constant dramatics that come with it (“a whole FOOT of snow” Booga booga booga). You’d think each flake was a harbinger of doom the way people prattle on about it.

Maybe it’s not feeling motivated to work on ThinkNOLA, and the guilt that comes with not working on ThinkNOLA, which leads to less motivation, which.. you get the picture. I need to make a concrete list of items I can work on; I know I work better with tasks and items I can cross off.

Maybe it’s looking at my blog and thinking “no one cares”. Not that I want to have thousands of people flaming the hell out of my posts, but this is really, more than anything, vanity. And I don’t like to think myself vain (seriously). So I don’t blog, which doesn’t add good to the equations.

I don’t say these things so people will heap encouragement on me (please don’t) but to, well, confess. These are not excuses, these are ruminations. I know from reading my feeds that there are others not that far removed from me who have far, far more to be depressed about. And this, too, makes me feel guilty. Guilty for wallowing. Guilty for being apathetic. Guilty for sitting on my ass doing nothing to help.

I hear a resolution coming; god let it get here.

9 thoughts on “Doldrums

  1. Bah, ice fishing is another one of those booga booga booga stories the local reporters always trot out. They get the same, moutstached fireman to come on the air and say “don't go on the ice, it's been 40 for a week”. Duh.. and then they piss and moan about having to rescue the dumbass who did go on the ice. Note to rescue teams: that was Darwin calling.


  2. Is winter coming? well I am sure you were pleased to recieve your promotion at think new orleans. not only is the title prestigious but the office space is luxurious and the pay scale..well enough to lift you out of the doledrums.


  3. ThinkSNOWLA. No, don't. I don't even know what that means. But whatever it is, it can't be good. When I first moved to New Orleans, a fellow Midwestern ex-pat told me a story about a guy who tried to wash snow (a whole milimeter! booga booga booga) off his driveway with a hose the winter before.


  4. I'm stealing that Becky… ThinkSNOWLA. And that's a die-hard Mid-westerner, spraying off his driveway. If he was in Wisconsin at the time, I tip my hat.And, Karen, thanks for the thought but I didn't get a promotion, we just talked the U out of some money. I wish I got a promotion with that…For the record, I like snow. I just don't like the idiots who think that, because they have 4-wheel drive, they also have 8-wheel stopping power for that 5-thousand pound penis enchancement Detroit SUV.


  5. Sadly, the apocryphal hoser (no pun intended) was here in New Orleans, and created a lovely sheet of glare ice. I doubt it lasted long, at least. I missed the last “snowstorm” in New Orleans, but I've always been morbidly curious about what it would do to traffic. Probably best not to find out. Bad idea to be outside at all while people are learning about winter driving for the first time, if the habits of people who are supposed to know better are any indication.


  6. I was here for snow in new orleans, my mother in law came over before it snowed and then she couldn't leave..the horrorRyan you also got a promotion at Think Nola. System Op. Ask Alan he has your big check aiting for you.


  7. I saw that on Alan's blog; I'm honored to have that kind of trust from Alan and the rest of the ThinkNOLA wiki editors.You know, I think I'd actually pay to watch people deal with snow in New Orleans. I saw video of half an inch in Atlanta and it was pandemonium; I can't imagine what it would be like further south.


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