Things You Must Read: "Dude, I Totally Unmarried You Just Now"

However, unlike any marriages on my list, the real, legal and actual same-sex marriages in California are in danger of being destroyed by people who aren’t actually in them. There is no initiative on the California November ballot to “protect” marriage from already-married Creed fans or Pepsi drinkers. There will be one to “protect” marriage from already-married same-sex couples.

Which is to say: Isn’t it funny how some people are going so far out of their way to destroy marriages they say they don’t believe actually exist.

Well, now, that’s an interesting little quandary. Click through to read the entire article; it’s funny and brilliant. This whole “gay marriage” thing is completely out of control; can we just, for once, let it go and let people get on with losing half their crap, no matter who they’re splitting their assets with?

Note to heteros: homosexuals entering into a legally binding contract in no way diminishes the validity or meaning of your legally binding contract. Moaning about “gay marriage” demeaning the “sanctity” of marriage as a whole is like saying that, because gays are allowed to have a mortgage, your mortgage is of less value (try and sell that one to the bank). Down with gay mortgages!

This post brought to you by a double entendre, more than a few Beavis and Butthead-style giggles, and the letter “V”. Oh, and Creed sucks ass. Oh, I almost forgot. Search Google for “gay marriage california” (or click here, yah lazy bum). Rainbow sidebars!

Also, anyone who even starts a refutation which invokes religion or wingnut rhetoric will be either a) mocked mercilessly or b) have their comment deleted; depends how frisky I’m feeling.

Whatever » Dude, I Totally Unmarried You Just Now

Memo to Democrats: THIS is How You Should Sound

“I refuse to be lectured on national security by people who are responsible for the most disastrous set of foreign policy decisions in the recent history of the United States. The other side likes to use 9/11 as a political bludgeon. Well, let’s talk about 9/11.

And there’s a lot more. If someone, anyone, had spoken like this when Congress bent over and gave the administration everything they wanted, maybe we’d actually be fixing some crap around here and getting the hell out of Iraq. And bravo to Senator Obama for not taking that BS 9/11 crap from some pandering Bushie.

Firefox Download Day

Firefox 3 drops today and Mozilla is trying to set a world record for downloads in one day. I’ve been using the release candidates for about a month now and really like some of the new features like bookmark tagging and the download manager.

Grab your copy today, but not yet (8am EDT) and get a great browser and be part of the world record attempt by clicking on the logo below.

Update: The official launch is 10am Pacific (1pm Eastern).

Download Day

How to Identify a potential Facebook friend from West Michigan

  • Status update includes the words “God, family, Dutch, coupon,” or “homosexual”.
  • Misspelled  interests which include “religioun, privalege” or obscene amounts of exclamation points.
  • Profile picture is of the newest child, the latest death, church steeple, or deer head.
  • Education includes a high school with the word “Christan” or county name in title.
  • Current job contains the words “farm”, “pastor”, “shift”, or “laid off”.
  • The person’s last name contains vowel combinations pronounceable only by descendants f Central-Northern Europeans.
  • Attended either of the following colleges: Hope, Calvin, Western, or Grand Valley.

One Function Review of the New Indiana Jones movie.

(with apologies to anyone who actually can code)

function toViewOrNotToView (seeFilmInTheatre) {

int fanboi = 0;
int literalism = 1;
int alteredState = 0;
int mentalAcuity = 1;

//note, we can’t let mentalAcuity dip below 1 to operate machinery safely

if (fanboi == 1 && alteredState ==1) {
return 1;


elseif (fanboi ==0 && alteredState == 1) {
return 1;
alteredstate = 0;


elseif (fanboi == 0 && alteredState == 0 && literalism == 1) {
return 0;
alert (“How many more films must George Lucas ruin before he is stopped?”);

//I know we’re not subtracting from mentalAcuity
//here, but that should be covered in the viewDVDAtHome function