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Things That Are Bad To Do To Your Computer

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In no particular order

  • Allow cats to rub against the main air vents, causing a sickly build-up of hair, dander, and catiness.
  • After allowing cats to deposit general catiness, fail to clean inside of computer for 8 weeks…
  • …then crank up the resolution on your favorite graphics-intensive application (video editing is best; games work in a pinch); Play “Count the Crashes” while attempting to figure out why computer crashes.
  • Through dog toy under desk, when the only path from dog’s current position to said dog toy is through a 6-inch opening made by your office chair and computer tower.
    • Bonus points if dog is wider than 6-inches; guess what happens to a computer tower?
  • Disconnect your computer from a VPN with multiple application-created connections to that VPN.
  • Eat Cottage Inn, thin crust pizza over beloved keyboard.
  • Remove portable hard drive from protective case with a) bare hands, b) ungrounded, c) on a cold, fall day, d) over carpet.

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